🗿 Just Close the F***** Door

GM. Markets are green as Blackrock flirts with ETH ETFs. Is anyone else getting annoyed with this cat-and-mouse game?? Just do it already. Anyway, some Apple geeks rolled out an AI pin and think ppl care. And Gary Gensler said FTX can come back as long as it follows the rules.

A lot of frustrating headlines this week for markets looking so bright…

Without Further Ado. ☕ *knuckle cracks* ☕ Let’s get into it.

Today’s No FOMO is brought to you by…

Today’s Specials:

Weekend Alpha - What to Watch 👀 : ETH ETF On The Horizon 👏

No FOMO News 📰 : The SEC Wants To Bring FTX Back lol 🙃 

No FOMO 🗿 – Top Chains by NFT Volume: BTC Flying Up the Chart 👀

AI Intel 🤖 : A Dorky Pin to Replace Smartphones? 🤔

This is Financial Advice 💰 : Don’t Scam People 😑 

Weekend Alpha – What to Watch 👀

BlackRock plans for Ethereum trust fuel speculation about ETF filing; Altseason? Alt 30-day price movements look bullish; Wild Bitcoin, Ether Price Swings Spur $400M of Crypto Liquidations, the Most Since August.

No FOMO News 📰

• SEC chair Gary Gensler says an FTX reboot could happen if it follows the law (CNBC)

• CME Topples Binance as Top Bitcoin Futures Exchange as Crypto ETF Excitement Soars (Cointelegraph)

• Crypto lender Celsius Network cleared to exit bankruptcy (Reuters)

• JPMorgan says 'crypto rally looks overdone' (The Block)

• Justin Sun's crypto exchange Poloniex seemingly hit by hack for over $100 million (The Block)

• Hong Kong ‘ready’ to capitalize on crypto’s next bull run: Hashkey Capital (Cointelegraph)

• India's Controversial Crypto Tax Should Be Cut After Failing to Achieve Aims, Think Tank Urges (CoinDesk)

• Lightspeed Faction launches $285M startup fund for crypto projects (Cointelegraph)

🔥 Top Chains by NFT Volume 🔥

Last 7 Days

1. Ethereum NFTs are making moves. 50+ collections are in the green this week – something that hasn’t happened in almost a year. 

Combine this with BAYC founder @GordonGoner single-handedly breathing life into the market by purchasing grails, plus a pumping market. You can see how this rally got started.

Expect to see this number steadily rise as more and more people get back into degen behaviors after being sidelined for over a year.

2. Bitcoin Ordinal volume is up over 400% on the heels of Elon’s criticism of NFTs. He scoffed at the idea of not having the JPEG on-chain while on Joe Rogan’s podcast. 

Since this is one of the key features of ordinals, this statement really rallied the ordinal community which led to a substantial increase in volume. Curious to see if this continues or if it’s a fad but I would keep an eye on blue chips in this ecosystem.

3. Polygon volume is mostly from DraftKings – so not a ton to report on for this ecosystem. But they out here.

Things We Really Don’t Like 😓

CNBC: IRS unveils new income tax brackets for 2024

We didn’t even read the article, but anything the IRS is trying to do is probably terrible.

Bloomberg: WeWork stock doubles in perplexing bet on a bankrupt company

Can we just like give money to businesses that actually make money?

Bloomberg: More executives vanish in China, casting chills over business climate

China + people disappearing = can’t be good

CNBC: SEC Chair Gary Gensler Says FTX Reboot Possible, if it follows the law.

AI Intel 🤖

• OpenAI and Microsoft partner with Humane on wearable AI pin (CT)

• Stability AI Gets Intel Backing in New Financing (Bloomberg)

• AI gets AI: Air India becomes world's first airline to launch virtual AI agent called 'Maharaja' (BusinessToday)

• Nvidia develops AI chips for China in latest bid to avoid US restrictions (FT)

• AI could cause ‘catastrophic’ financial crisis, says Yuval Noah Harari (Guardian)

This is Financial Advice 💰

If you’ve been in the shitcoin game for a few years, you probably remember Safemoon.

Realistically, you probably hold some worthless Safemoon tokens in a wallet you don’t use anymore. At its peak, it reached a $5.7 billion market cap, following a more than 55,000% surge from early March to April 20, 2021.

Many crypto millionaires were made during this run. 

Well, turns out, its owners were full of shit all along. Last week, the SEC charged the company behind the coin, SafeMoon LLC, along with creator Kyle Nagy, CEO John Karony, and CTO Thomas Smith, with violating securities laws in "a massive fraudulent scheme." Not great.

“the SEC alleges that company leaders secretly took out more than $200 million in crypto assets from the project to pay for, among other things, McLaren cars, luxury homes, and extravagant travel”

This is not not bad. In other words, not good. Now they’re going to jail. It’s so bad, as of this morning they aren’t even going to let the owners out on bail.  

How does this happen? You are lucky enough to have a shitcoin take off, and you blow it so bad your life is over. Stop f***** scamming people, you’re ruining it for the rest of us.

Mining for Memes ⛏️

FED Chair Jerome Powell says "just close the f*cking door" after climate protestors interrupt his speech lmfao

Shameless Shill + Alpha

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